Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Most hilarious of all is that most of the stories come from the online dating sphere which adds a certain unexpected element...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Facebook is Not your dating friend

Mashable posted a story back in April about the 5 Ways Facebook Changed Dating (For the Worse).  The reasons include 

  1. Over analyzing
  2. The Action Your Ex is Getting
  3. Breakups are Public
  4. Record of Relationship Mistakes
  5. Jealously
All of these are very valid and I've witnessed them all in some form or another.  However, what they fail to mention are the pitfalls that occur prior to any "real" relationship.  
A while back, a guy I met on Match asked me to become friends with him on Facebook prior to our 1st date.  I thought it was a little odd but there is the benefit of being able to check out other pictures, see what their friends look like, and see if there are any GLARINGLY obvious reasons why you should not go out into a public place with this person.  So, like any savvy online dater, I checked him out.  He seemed normal; we had things in common.  He also picked out a place I'd been wanting to try.  I thought a win-win.  

We arrive at the restaurant and are seated.  I'm wearing a cream silk short sleeve version of the shirt below.  Somewhat sexy, but not terribly revealing and a big chunky necklace.  
 We order and start to chat.  I notice he is gazing rather intently at my chest and finally he says something like nice necklace.  A little annoying but we continue.  He proceeds to tell me about his 2 little girls and ex-wife.  Not terribly appealing convo but I guess, it's better to have it out there.  He then busts out with he's had a vasectomy.  Mind you, he is 35 years old. My jaw drops and I stutter excuse me, what?  He repeats that after having his 2nd child, he and his former wife decided it was time to tie the tubes.  I think TMI for the first date; WHY oh WHY are you telling me this; Are you trying to let me know if we do it, I'm safe???  Lots of other things go through my head and we've barely finished our appetizers.  Now, I realize I'm with a TMI guy who will still not stop staring at my chest and there's nothing showing!  Mr. V and I continue dinner but at this point, I have checked out.  I still can't believe that this sort of thing comes up at dinner on a 1st date.  Plus, there were no warnings from his emails, our conversations, or his Facebook page.  

Finally, we wrap up and he walks me to my car.  He tries to lean in for the kiss but I bob and weave and get out with a hug.  Thank God!  I get home and settle down on the couch and of course, start playing on Facebook.  Well, what do you know, Mr. V's comments start to pop up along with comments from his 10 friends.  The comments go something like this:

Mr. V: My date showed up in a revealing top so it was quite a nice view during dinner.
Friend 1: Women are always shoving their shit out their for everyone to see.
Friend 2: A girl knows when she's got her shit on parade.  She must be a slut.
Friend 3: Was the date good otherwise? 
Friend 4: Did you get any since she was obviously ready and willing to put out?
And on and on.

I would suggest not participating in such actions as it can back fire.  Of course, the first thing I did in response was start posting on how he brought up that he had a vasectomy on a 1st date to which my friends responded WHAT!?!?!?!  After a round of comments from them, I promptly de-friended him and moved on.  He continued to email me for a couple of weeks.  Needless to say, I did not respond and blocked him on Match.  Fast forward a year, he sends me a random email AGAIN asking if we can go out.  I receive this email around the same time as Mr. I Hate the South asks me to connect on Linked In.  What's up with these guy in general but also what's up with a year after follow up?  And why would Mr. V think I was want to date him after he and his friends talked shit about me on Facebook for not only me but the rest of the world to see as well???

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