Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Most hilarious of all is that most of the stories come from the online dating sphere which adds a certain unexpected element...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Non-Divorced Guy and No, I don't mean Married Guy...

I've had the fortunate or unfortunate experience of dating a couple of men that are in the process of getting divorced.  Several things come to mind as I think about these experiences.  My advice to others: WAIT until the ink is dry on the divorce papers.  

Divorce law is a little different in North Carolina.  You have to wait an entire year in order for your divorce to be finalized.  I assume this law was put in place by those hoping that couples would work out their differences and reduce the divorce rate.  

When I started dating online in my mid-20s, under no circumstance would I even consider going out with someone that had been previously married.  I didn't want to deal with the baggage of an ex-wife.  Fast forward 5 years and I've come to realize especially in NC (when just about everyone you know is married by 25) that I've got to let that requirement go.  However, I have also realized that they need to be fully divorced before we date.

Now for story time:
I met Dr. Non-Divorced on Match and he was great!  I'm talking would've married him tomorrow wonderful.  There were so many commonalities: same values, same desires, similar family backgrounds, adaptable, you get the picture.  Initially, we emailed.  Then came the nightly conversations.  He was especially over the moon as I know a thing or two about trucks and SUVs specifically Toyota Land Cruisers and International Scouts.  Finally, we go out and have a great date.  The conversation continues for a month until one day there is silence.  I email him and ask if I've done something to turn him off in a non-defensive, approachable manner.  I get a response (yay!) stating:

I should have been more informative and apologize for not communicating better. THis is the first day I have had off in a long while. I'll call you after sorting through a few things (like milk 2 weeks past expiration, lol).

I think, WOW, this is what adult dating is supposed to like.  Two weeks go by and still very little communication until I get another stating he's been busy.  Finally, there is nothing at all. Now, I'm not sure if his romance with work got in the way or if he went back to his wife.  Either way, it was a big let down to have been told over and over how wonderful one is for it to end in silence.

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