Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Most hilarious of all is that most of the stories come from the online dating sphere which adds a certain unexpected element...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Why girls shouldn't like sports or Why don't you go back to where you came from?

A while back I went on this date and prior to the actual date, I really thought this particular date was going to go exceedingly well.  We both had our MBAs; we both had lived in China.  Not to mention, from the emails and phone calls, it seemed we were on the same page: looking for similar things, wanted the same things out of life, enjoyed traveling, being active, etc.

We scheduled our date for a Friday night at 8:30pm.  It was during the the 2009 NCAA Championship and Carolina was playing LSU.  I thought: Perfect, I can watch the game, then I can go on the date and not be distracted.  Around 7:15pm, the game was tied and looked like it might go into overtime.  I immediately texted the guy and said, "Might be 5 minutes late.  UNC and LSU are tied and the game might go into overtime." As soon as I hit send, the phone rings.  It's him--clearly annoyed, asking if we should re-schedule, and ranting about how watching sports is stupid--he only plays sports, doesn't watch.  This should have been a signal to CANCEL and run for the hills.  I say, "No, no, just wanted to let you know.  We're still on and I should be there at 830.  Just wanted to give you a heads up."

Game ends; Carolina wins (YAY!).  I show up 5 minutes early and text him to tell him I'm waiting at the bar.  I get a text back saying he hasn't even left his house yet....WHAT!  He calls the restaurant and asks the maitre d' to send over a fancy cocktail on his behalf and tell me he's sorry for being late.  It was a nice gesture, but really why haven't you left the house at 830pm??  He arrives at 8:50.  That's right--20 minutes late.  We order drinks and start chatting.

He goes on again about how he doesn't understand people that watch sports.  What's the point of watching and not playing?  Well, I'm a die hard UNC fan and watch almost every game.  This sort of logic just doesn't make sense to me but whatever.  College basketball is a big deal in North Carolina just like football is huge in Texas.  Southerners just have a things for watching sports, I guess.  I mention this fact and this takes the conversation on a turn for the worst.  A little background: he's from upstate New York, lived in NYC, went to Columbia, and moved here for work.  I'm originally from NC, lived in DC for 8 years, and moved back to NC in 2006.

Bringing up Southern heritage or likes and dislikes, boy, did it get him started on a rampage.  He starts with all Southerners are back stabbing assholes and yes, he did say all (aren't I one and didn't YOU ask ME on a date).  His reasoning is that we have this fabulous saying "bless your heart".  Now, I will admit sometimes "bless your heart" is followed by something not so kind and Southerners tend to not be so direct.  We do, however, say hello to you walking down the street (I got strange looks for this in DC) and if anything goes wrong (someone dying, etc), we will fill your house full of food.  You get the good and bad...just like with Yankees.  He continues to lambaste North Carolina, the South, and me.  He hates it here, it's too slow, people are too fake, people are ignorant, and on and on and on.  I'm offended but decide to be the proper Southern belle I was raised and don't knock him out.

Then, it is time to order dinner.  Obviously, it's March Madness and therefore Lent season.  I give up meat and dairy for Lent (fasting).  It's a little extreme but I like to do it (like might be a little strong but...).  We're discussing what to order and I mention this.  He then starts to attack my religious beliefs.  First, he asks if I am really religious.  I say no, but I feel a sense of accomplishment after 40 days of fasting and I sure think about God every time I want to eat.  Apparently, this answer isn't good enough.  Why would I waste my time fasting if I don't attend church regularly?  God, doesn't really care if you fast or not.  Lent isn't so terribly important and really, you just shouldn't do this.  By this time, I am extremely offended.  I am not Baptist and I am not a snake handler.  In fact, I don't particularly care for organized religion in general.  However, I do make a personal choice during Lent and I think it brings me closer to the man upstairs.

Dinner comes; we eat.  As soon as we finish, he asks for the check and pays.  It is now 9:40pm.  He says thanks, shakes my hand, and walks out of the restaurant.  Yep, that's right.  One of the shortest dates ever (50 minutes) and the entirety of which was spent telling me that my heritage and where we both live is wrong/backwards/backstabbing and I wasn't religious enough in the proper way or manner and my choices were stupid.

If you hate the South and North Carolina so much, then GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!  We didn't ask you to move here.  In fact, your kind is taking away or diluting many of the things that we love about the South.  This is a little harsh and really only meant for him.  I have many friends that aren't Southern and are extremely lovely.  His tirade, however, literally almost made me forget all of my manners and start the "War of Northern Aggression" all over again.

P.S. A year later, he requests to be my contact on Linked In stating we are friends.  Did I miss something?  If I'm a back-stabbing, ignorant, "bless your heart" saying Southerner, why do you want to connect?

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