When They Come Back Around

I was seeing this guy, Mr. Tech, back in the Spring.  We had a good first date, a great 2nd date, and an amazing 3rd date.  The 2nd and 3rd date involved being introduced to his friends.  One would think things were going swimmingly.  His friends loved me--not trying to brag, I liked them too.  The 3rd date was a Saint Patty's Day Crawl.  We had a great time.  I didn't drink myself into oblivion which was a feat.  We ended up back at his house, lounged together, napped together, and made out some.  Unfortunately, my little friend was around, so it was pretty G rated.  The only awkwardness was I had to tell him as he tried to get into my pants.  Now, I'm not sure if my blurting out I was on the rag was what cause things to go sour, but how else do you let someone know?  Let them figure it out for themselves when they find the string--I think NOT!  


So the 3rd date lasted around 12 hours.  It was a great 12 hours.  We stole kisses at the bar and had a great time hanging out with his friends.  So what happened?  I texted him on actual Saint Patty's Day and got no response.  And never heard from him again....until TODAY.  He did "The Fade".  Things going well and then RADIO SILENCE.  I wasn't overly disappointed. I didn't think he was my soul mate but I enjoyed his company.  I am guilty of the fade...so I don't get too worked up when it happens to me.  However, when they randomly 6 months later contact you (ie wink at you) on Match.  What is the deal?  Did he get back with an old girlfriend, start talking to his ex-wife again, WTF??  Will keep you posted if he contacts me back.  I just had to send an email--more out of curiosity than anything.  Email was:


Subject:  How ya been stranger
Body:  Hope you had a good summer.
Lee


What's even funnier is that I've seen him randomly on Match but then his profile is hidden again.  How do I know he randomly reveals his profile, you might ask, he picked me as one of his "Favorites".  One minute he'll be listed and then later that day vanished.  Gotta love online dating!

Round 2: The Non-Divorced Guy and No, I don't mean Married Guy...

Now for round 2,  meet the Mr. Divorced Analyst Creative (Mr. DAC).  He's writing a book and yet a numbers guy.  I'm a big fan of people that are able to use both sides of the brain primarily because I wish I was one.  Again, we have similar values, yada yada.  We have great conversations via email and on the phone.  In fact, after the 1st date, he's offered to put me in touch with his colleague to help me find a job.  Winner, right?!  Second date goes great as well even though I tend to speak more of mind than usual. A couple of drinks deep, I state you're not divorced yet and therefore, there will be basically be no emotional attachment from me until you are.  I'm hoping I said it with a little more tact but I doubt it...  The rest of the night continues with those conversations you don't want to end.

I amazingly get asked out on the 3rd date (somewhat of a surprise after open mouth insert foot comments from date 2) which is usually a maker or breaker.  I meet him at his house which he used to share with his former wife.  It was a little strange but I was in and out.  We have a lovely time at dinner and then have drinks afterwards.  While having beers, he mentions we should definitely plan on going to a football game this fall.  I think I must be doing something right--making plans for the fall already...I'm still not sure about our next date yet.  Then, Mr. DAC states we should no longer make out (even though we have in the past) and he wants to make sure that I'm not confused by the status of our "relationship".  Again, I state I know you're not divorced but I enjoy your company and that's that.  

He then proceeds to flirt and steal kisses the rest of the night.  Mixed signals but whatever...it gets late and driving home for me is no longer an option.  We order pizza and go back to his place, eat, and go to sleep.  I wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom, go to the kitchen for water, and what do I see on his refrigerator: his wedding pic with his former wife.  Not just one picture but 2 pictures.  I walk back through the house and then notice that some of her clothes are still there and her heels.  Note: I was NOT snooping they were in plain view at the foot of the guest bed.  Quickly, I get dressed and am now thinking what have I gotten myself into....he's not over his wife and I have GOT TO GO NOW.   As I'm hurriedly trying to get myself out the door, he says, "Wait, huh, where are you going? Don't you want to have breakfast together?" I say, "No, gotta go to the lake and have brunch with my parents."    

I know I have set myself up for failure on this one, but really, you're in the divorce process, you're bringing women to your home, and you still have your marriage pictures up and her clothes and heels are displayed like she still lives there.  I appreciate it if you're not ready to date;  divorce is very difficult--most of family has had one, but know yourself well enough to heal before trying to move on.  Of course as I write all of that, I'm still not sure what I'll do if I get asked on a fourth date...despite being creeped out.