Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Thoughts, stories, and the hilarity involved in dating

Most hilarious of all is that most of the stories come from the online dating sphere which adds a certain unexpected element...

Friday, August 27, 2010

Awkward Food and the Interview Date

My first date after a 3 week hiatus was...umm...more like than interview than a date.  We hugged when we met and when we left but everything in between felt similar to an interview.  The conversation primarily revolved around work, growing up, and the like--normal first date conversation, but there just wasn't any warmth about it.  

We ordered a couple of glasses of wine and some food.  He ordered sushi and I ordered a grilled chicken flat bread.  I thought both seemed pretty date friendly food.  When my plate arrived, however, BOY was I wrong.  There was a mound of uncooked spinach on top of a flat bread that wasn't completely cut into pieces.  So, every time I tried to eat the salad on top the flat bread moved around the plate.  We both commented on how challenging it was going to be for me to try and eat this thing.  Then, there was the amount of red onion and olives....even if I had wanted to kiss Mr. Interview, it would've resulted in a breath disaster.  I bumbled through saying if I ended up with spinach on top of my head, it would be nice if he'd let me know.  

I will admit part of it was me.  I'm still a little down and out from the loss of my friend who was also the GM of my golf course.  We talked about that briefly and he was surprised and interested in that I ran a golf course on a day to day basis.  Then, we started talking about how that's not what I really want to be doing.  I want to be working for a multi-national corporation doing marketing research and analysis specifically pertaining to China.  Yes, I am very specific (this is also what every job search guru says to be) and yes, I am not in the greatest market--NYC or San Fran might be better, but I love NC and want to live either here or in China.  A little extreme, but that's me.  It was nice of him to offer suggestions, but he also said with China now being the 2nd largest economy, how can you not get a job?  I've thought the same damn thing.  And I don't know--maybe it's me; maybe it's the economy; maybe it's both.  Just didn't want to have the same conversation that I've had in my head for the past a year and a half again without concrete suggestions like I know so and so, you should talk to them.  This is way TOO much to ask of a first date, I know.  

This is also why I still keep going back for more with Mr. Non-Divorced Guy along with the ability to have word vomit.  After our first date, he knew someone with contacts at Electrolux and forwarded my name and resume.  Too much to expect, but unexpectedly very helpful and nice.  Speaking of, Mr. Non-Divorce Guy has asked me to go to a football game on Nov. 20.  WOW--talk about long range plans...maybe by then, we'll be able to do the wild thing as he divorced will be finalized.

So, another resounding another date tonight...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Overeagerness is NOT attractive - Part 2

A while back prior to Overeagerness is NOT attractive aka Mr. Grenada, the same girlfriend and I were out at the Epicenter in Charlotte.  We were having drinks, chatting, and lounging on these comfy love seats they have at Mez.  A friend of a friend of my friend was there and started chatting us up.  He was cute and again, I was hoping he would have cute friends and again, alas he didn't.  He did, however, have Jimmy.  Jimmy is about 5'5" (that's being generous) and was convinced he was one of the most connected men in Charlotte.  That might or might not be the case, but who goes around talking about it?

Jimmy and I are introduced.  Immediately, Jimmy asks how in the world I can be single.  I hate this question as most single people do.  In fact, it is #3 in the top 19 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person on MSN.  Maybe, I'm too picky; maybe, I just haven't found "him" yet; bottom line, I'm not sure.  I think I'm wonderful but I haven't found a special someone that I think is wonderful back.  

I digress.  Jimmy proceeds to go on and on that he is going to convince me to marry him by the end of the night.  SAY WHAT!?  I think to myself you are short, overeager, and clearly is too big for his britches--why would I ever be interested...YUCK!  Somehow, my friend and I are unable to get away from Jimmy and Jimmy keeps berating me with how I'm beautiful, so worldly, and so shouldn't be single.  This lasts until 3am.  Again, I'm an idiot and give the correct phone number.  (Why do I do this?)  I also make the fatal mistake of getting pizza with him afterwards.  At which point, he then starts trying to get me to go home with him.  Friend has already left with her then boyfriend.  

Compliments have certainly worked their charm on me before and have persuaded me to go home with boys that I wouldn't have usually go home with, but Jimmy and his talk of marriage has me literally contemplating maybe I don't ever want to marry ANYONE.  Mind you--at this point, I'm almost 30 (now I've already joined the club) and marriage is kind of looming in the background (why aren't I there yet, all of my friends are kind of head talk).  And this guy has made of scared of it!  So home I head wondering where are all the normal ones?

Next day, he calls, texts, and finds me on Facebook and tries to persuade to A) go out that Saturday night B) we are perfectly suited for each other.  I ignore the offers to go out but strangely accept the FB request.  Fast forward a few months, I see he is engaged about 6 months after the episode at the Epicenter.  How has he had time to meet, date, and get engaged in 6 months?  Man, he seriously was on a mission and really wasn't kidding with me. forward another 3 months, his FB status no longer says engaged and GUESS WHAT--he winks at me on  WTF--I have officially come full circle.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Marriage Minded--what?!

If this doesn't sound like a scam, I don't know what does.  Even more funny is that I've received this same email at least 3 times.  Therefore, I felt I just had to post...


56, Atlanta, GA
Seeking Female 30-42
Gentleman Lawyer- Funny, Normal, Adventurous. Still A Believer In The Magic Of Romance, Chance, Fate And Adventure!
MY PROFILE: I still believe in the magic of romance, chance and fate after my recent break up from someone who was not ready to move on with life although she may have believed so. Remember anything in life worth doing has some element of risk and I did my best for love but love and fate held out that my ex-girlfriend was not my right person. Perhaps you are to me but you will need… Read more »
From: marriagemindedx < > / Received: August 14, 2010

You are my match and simply adorable!

My promise to myself for Summer 2010 was to change my profile to get off match and move on with my life now with my right person since I have ended an engagement with an exgirlfriend last summer. She was on match so I know there are quality women on this site. The challenge is to meet your match who is ready, willing and able to move on with their life with you and that can take time. She was 33 years old and age was never an issue with us. I am so very interested in your profile and you are very beautiful and very lovely. There is a proverb that all good things come to those who wait. I think it was written with you in mind :o) But I can't wait any longer with my teenage son going to college next year and so much more I want to do in life but have a vision of myself, among other things, as a married person. I can be the bestest friend in addition to possibly being your soul mate [may be just have been born a bit early on the universe time clock...LOL]; so please read my profile then call me for a friendly, no strings chat at 770-591-xxxx leaving a message with a good time and good phone number to call you back if you reach my voice mail. I hope you call me and just be open to a year of new beginnings!!! Cheers, Patrick

Welcome to the 30 Club

Today, I turn 30.  I thought as I got closer it would result in me being more of an adult.  Maybe after today, it will.  The past 2 weeks have not indicated as such.  Let me explain...

I went to the Dominican Republic with my parents to celebrate.  I was supposed to leave on Sat., Aug 7th.  I didn't, however, get there until Tues., Aug 10th.  I checked my passport 5 times before leaving and read that it expired on May 10 2011.  Boy, did I get a shock when I tried to check in at 6am August 7th when the agent said it was already expired and I couldn't board the plane.  The next 3 days were spent calling and emailing my Senator's office, getting an emergency passport appointment, and driving to and from DC.  Fortunately, I have a friend that works in the Senator's office as well as personally knowing the Senator (I took ballet with her oldest daughter).  Fortunately, it worked out and I arrived Tuesday afternoon.  

I thought the vacation would be relaxing and it was after I arrived.  I thought there would (hopefully) be some stories as well, but alas being surrounded by families with children and couples doesn't result in such.

Fast forward to Saturday...I land in Raleigh and receive a voice mail that a very close friend had passed away in a motorcycle accident.  He also worked with me and helped me run my family's business.  Very unexpected and upsetting.  Hence why I've been MIA from the blog and Twitter.  

Sorry to be Debbie Downer...hope everything can get more back to normal soon....

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Overeagerness is NOT attractive

Being overly eager does not an attractive date make.  Sure, you want them to like you (assuming you like them), you want them to call and text, but paying an inordinate amount of attention is a TOTAL turnoff.  Allow me to explain.

This past Friday, I went out with a girlfriend.  We went to dinner and then went to have drinks at the Gin Mill.  It's usually a pretty low key place with a decent crowd and usually some cuties.  This point was proven when Mr. Michigan approached.  He was a little younger, 27, and attracted to my friend.  Great--I was hoping he would have a cute friend in tow but alas that was not the case.  As they continued chatting, I looked around to see if perhaps there might be a cutie for me.  Then, Mr. Grenada approaches and states in a Caribbean/pseudo English accent that in Grenada, I would certainly not be single and I should join him and his friends.  My friend was, meanwhile, still being entertained, so I joined them.  Partly out of boredom, but I'm also a sucker for a compliment no matter how ridiculous.

Mr. Grenada pulled out my chair to allow me to sit down (very gentlemanly) and we chat.  He then proceeds to say he is going to take me on a date this coming week and how very, very, very much he likes me.  At this point, I'm sort of playing along and he is nice.  I'm just not attracted to him that way.  Mr. Michigan is still hitting on my friend and starting to make a bit of a fool of himself.  Mr. Grenada comments why is Mr. Michigan's every other word the f-bomb.  To which I reply, I don't know but he seems like a moron.  (Always a shame when they are cute but douche bags.  Also a shame when they are nice but you're not a attracted)

The night continues with Mr. Grenada continuing to talk about this future date and at this point, I'm really wanting to go home and do not want to go out with him.  But I'm an idiot and when he asks for my number, I give it to him and the real one.  I know--shame on me, but I felt bad he was nice.  Mr. Michigan proceeds to pee in the tree on the roof deck, comes back to the table, calls Mr. Grenada a "negro" (YES OMG-my friend and I were MORTIFIED), and then Mr. Michigan is kicked out of the bar.  So my friend and I are gushing apologies at the idiocy of Mr. Michigan.  (Sidenote:  Both of us are very Southern, but under NO circumstance is using negro or the other n word EVER EVER appropriate.)  Obviously, it is time to go.  Mr. Grenada walks us to the car and what do you know but Mr. Michigan is waiting outside for us to come out.  We dodge him and hop in the car.

Fast forward to Saturday (yes, the next day), Mr. Grenada calls and texts within an hour of each other.  I reply saying I'm with family and will be for the weekend (which is true) and will call Mon.  He texts on Sunday  saying he hopes I am having fun with the family.  He texts Monday and calls twice.  He texts again on Tuesday.  Come on man--clearly, I'm busy and/or don't want to talk.  Give up the goose.  I realize it is my fault for giving him my number and I should grow some balls and just say I'm not interested.  Honestly though, even if I was REALLY attracted to him, I wouldn't want or need this much attention within 4 days of meeting him.  I've dated guys for years and not gotten this many messages or phone calls within such a short period.

Plus, I leave for the Dominican Republic in 3 days!  ...for my 30th...EEK!!  I have another similar story but I'll save it for another post...