Being overly eager does not an attractive date make. Sure, you want them to like you (assuming you like them), you want them to call and text, but paying an inordinate amount of attention is a TOTAL turnoff. Allow me to explain.
This past Friday, I went out with a girlfriend. We went to dinner and then went to have drinks at the Gin Mill. It's usually a pretty low key place with a decent crowd and usually some cuties. This point was proven when Mr. Michigan approached. He was a little younger, 27, and attracted to my friend. Great--I was hoping he would have a cute friend in tow but alas that was not the case. As they continued chatting, I looked around to see if perhaps there might be a cutie for me. Then, Mr. Grenada approaches and states in a Caribbean/pseudo English accent that in Grenada, I would certainly not be single and I should join him and his friends. My friend was, meanwhile, still being entertained, so I joined them. Partly out of boredom, but I'm also a sucker for a compliment no matter how ridiculous.
Mr. Grenada pulled out my chair to allow me to sit down (very gentlemanly) and we chat. He then proceeds to say he is going to take me on a date this coming week and how very, very, very much he likes me. At this point, I'm sort of playing along and he is nice. I'm just not attracted to him that way. Mr. Michigan is still hitting on my friend and starting to make a bit of a fool of himself. Mr. Grenada comments why is Mr. Michigan's every other word the f-bomb. To which I reply, I don't know but he seems like a moron. (Always a shame when they are cute but douche bags. Also a shame when they are nice but you're not a attracted)
The night continues with Mr. Grenada continuing to talk about this future date and at this point, I'm really wanting to go home and do not want to go out with him. But I'm an idiot and when he asks for my number, I give it to him and the real one. I know--shame on me, but I felt bad he was nice. Mr. Michigan proceeds to pee in the tree on the roof deck, comes back to the table, calls Mr. Grenada a "negro" (YES OMG-my friend and I were MORTIFIED), and then Mr. Michigan is kicked out of the bar. So my friend and I are gushing apologies at the idiocy of Mr. Michigan. (Sidenote: Both of us are very Southern, but under NO circumstance is using negro or the other n word EVER EVER appropriate.) Obviously, it is time to go. Mr. Grenada walks us to the car and what do you know but Mr. Michigan is waiting outside for us to come out. We dodge him and hop in the car.
Fast forward to Saturday (yes, the next day), Mr. Grenada calls and texts within an hour of each other. I reply saying I'm with family and will be for the weekend (which is true) and will call Mon. He texts on Sunday saying he hopes I am having fun with the family. He texts Monday and calls twice. He texts again on Tuesday. Come on man--clearly, I'm busy and/or don't want to talk. Give up the goose. I realize it is my fault for giving him my number and I should grow some balls and just say I'm not interested. Honestly though, even if I was REALLY attracted to him, I wouldn't want or need this much attention within 4 days of meeting him. I've dated guys for years and not gotten this many messages or phone calls within such a short period.
Plus, I leave for the Dominican Republic in 3 days! ...for my 30th...EEK!! I have another similar story but I'll save it for another post...
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Word vomit or Why I Like Non-Divorced Guy
I had my 4th date (or 5th depending if you count morning after breakfasts) with Non-Divorced Guy on Friday. We met at Flemings in downtown and chatted for over an hour before even ordering. I love this about NDG. We can talk and talk and talk some more. I think this is why I keep coming back even though I've been told that we can no longer sleep together even though we already have and that the last time I was at his house I saw on his refrigerator: his wedding pic with his former wife and not just one picture but 2 pictures plus some of her clothes are still there and her heels. Note: I was NOT snooping they were in plain view at the foot of the guest bed.
Both of these are pretty big drawbacks for me. One--it's not nice to be an Indian giver and two--it would appear he has still not let go of his marriage. On some level, I understand why he hasn't let go. His wife came home in November and announced after 9 years of marriage that she no longer wanted a husband, house, or cat. That would throw a major curve ball in my life plan too. However, I'm not sure I would get back on the date train so soon or before the ink had dried on the divorce papers which doesn't happen until November. I understand the natural inclination to get back in the saddle but...
The draw is the ability to have word vomit with this man. He mentioned he was pretty certain after I high-tailed it out of there the last time we went out (after seeing his ex's shoes and clothes) that it would be the last time. I proceeded to describe my NEED to escape after feeling like I was in another woman's house and that I was home wrecker. I also went on to discuss how my former best friend of 29 years is a total bitch after...well that is another story. All of the conversations we've had have been that way. They just flow and I can literally talk about anything as can he without there being weirdness. This has been what has always drawn me in while in other semi-successful relationships.
I tend to not have a filter at all. For example, when a great friend in college moved back to DC, I went over to see the new apartment and to meet her boyfriend (now husband). He opened the door, I walked in, and with a very Southern drawl said, "Holy fuck, oh my shit balls." Granted, it was an amazing apartment--lots of ornate woodwork, etc., but this was my first time meeting him! If you ask my opinion, you get honesty--sometimes it's brutal. That's just me. I don't apologize for it nor do I want to change it. It can make dating a little dicey though. The fact that I can just totally be myself with NDG is a big draw despite the drawbacks.
Another drawback: when we walked to the parking garage, he didn't walk me to my car. I am a big girl and clearly capable of walking myself, but his M.O. has always been Southern gentleman to the max. What happened?
Both of these are pretty big drawbacks for me. One--it's not nice to be an Indian giver and two--it would appear he has still not let go of his marriage. On some level, I understand why he hasn't let go. His wife came home in November and announced after 9 years of marriage that she no longer wanted a husband, house, or cat. That would throw a major curve ball in my life plan too. However, I'm not sure I would get back on the date train so soon or before the ink had dried on the divorce papers which doesn't happen until November. I understand the natural inclination to get back in the saddle but...
The draw is the ability to have word vomit with this man. He mentioned he was pretty certain after I high-tailed it out of there the last time we went out (after seeing his ex's shoes and clothes) that it would be the last time. I proceeded to describe my NEED to escape after feeling like I was in another woman's house and that I was home wrecker. I also went on to discuss how my former best friend of 29 years is a total bitch after...well that is another story. All of the conversations we've had have been that way. They just flow and I can literally talk about anything as can he without there being weirdness. This has been what has always drawn me in while in other semi-successful relationships.
I tend to not have a filter at all. For example, when a great friend in college moved back to DC, I went over to see the new apartment and to meet her boyfriend (now husband). He opened the door, I walked in, and with a very Southern drawl said, "Holy fuck, oh my shit balls." Granted, it was an amazing apartment--lots of ornate woodwork, etc., but this was my first time meeting him! If you ask my opinion, you get honesty--sometimes it's brutal. That's just me. I don't apologize for it nor do I want to change it. It can make dating a little dicey though. The fact that I can just totally be myself with NDG is a big draw despite the drawbacks.
Another drawback: when we walked to the parking garage, he didn't walk me to my car. I am a big girl and clearly capable of walking myself, but his M.O. has always been Southern gentleman to the max. What happened?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Old Fashioned Dating: To be Picked Up or Not?
I have a 2nd date with a guy on Wednesday. We're going to see the Counting Crows and Augustana. I'm super pumped. Not only is it a great idea for a second date, but I also like the bands.
The first date went really well. We met for drinks at a low key bar starting talking at 7pm and didn't finish (without awkward pauses, etc) until around 11pm. He walked me to my car (very sweet) and then asked if he could kiss me (**swoon). It was a sweet couple of peck kisses of sorts--certainly not anything to make my knees buckle, of course, but it was incredible to be asked to be kissed! I don't think that's happened since high school especially the peck part. I don't routinely get mauled by any means, but normally they swoop in wanted or not.
We talked about the concerts over the 1st date and then he texted Sunday to ask if I'd like to go. I obviously said Yes! He then offers to come and pick me up and drive us to the venue. I text back that it's totally unnecessary as he lives on 1 side of town and I on the other and it would add an hour and half to the trip. He replies he prefers the old fashioned way of dating and I can't get the whole Mr. Sweet dating experience unless he picks up me. I reply: Very sweet but there's plenty of time for the whole experience in the future ;).
This got me to thinking: First--how AWESOME that a guy is polite enough to offer to pick me up (again hasn't happened in a while); Second--I would never let a guy I met online pick me up on a second date; Third--my 21st century self has really ruined the romance part of dating.
Although many of my dates and/or posts don't reflect it, I am a romantic at heart. I want to be swept off my feet. I want to be picked up and driven, given flowers, and experience the whole romantic notion of dating. Dating online and crimes of the 21st century, however, have ruined many of those "fantasies". Immediately, when I get offered to be picked up, I think are you a secret murderer, rapist i.e. will you harm me in some way. Not exactly of which romance is made.
So I'm still left with a couple questions: Can romance exist in online dating at least in the initial phases? Am I being overly cautious?
The first date went really well. We met for drinks at a low key bar starting talking at 7pm and didn't finish (without awkward pauses, etc) until around 11pm. He walked me to my car (very sweet) and then asked if he could kiss me (**swoon). It was a sweet couple of peck kisses of sorts--certainly not anything to make my knees buckle, of course, but it was incredible to be asked to be kissed! I don't think that's happened since high school especially the peck part. I don't routinely get mauled by any means, but normally they swoop in wanted or not.
We talked about the concerts over the 1st date and then he texted Sunday to ask if I'd like to go. I obviously said Yes! He then offers to come and pick me up and drive us to the venue. I text back that it's totally unnecessary as he lives on 1 side of town and I on the other and it would add an hour and half to the trip. He replies he prefers the old fashioned way of dating and I can't get the whole Mr. Sweet dating experience unless he picks up me. I reply: Very sweet but there's plenty of time for the whole experience in the future ;).
This got me to thinking: First--how AWESOME that a guy is polite enough to offer to pick me up (again hasn't happened in a while); Second--I would never let a guy I met online pick me up on a second date; Third--my 21st century self has really ruined the romance part of dating.
Although many of my dates and/or posts don't reflect it, I am a romantic at heart. I want to be swept off my feet. I want to be picked up and driven, given flowers, and experience the whole romantic notion of dating. Dating online and crimes of the 21st century, however, have ruined many of those "fantasies". Immediately, when I get offered to be picked up, I think are you a secret murderer, rapist i.e. will you harm me in some way. Not exactly of which romance is made.
So I'm still left with a couple questions: Can romance exist in online dating at least in the initial phases? Am I being overly cautious?
Monday, June 28, 2010
Facebook is Not your dating friend
Mashable posted a story back in April about the 5 Ways Facebook Changed Dating (For the Worse). The reasons include
A while back, a guy I met on Match asked me to become friends with him on Facebook prior to our 1st date. I thought it was a little odd but there is the benefit of being able to check out other pictures, see what their friends look like, and see if there are any GLARINGLY obvious reasons why you should not go out into a public place with this person. So, like any savvy online dater, I checked him out. He seemed normal; we had things in common. He also picked out a place I'd been wanting to try. I thought a win-win.
We arrive at the restaurant and are seated. I'm wearing a cream silk short sleeve version of the shirt below. Somewhat sexy, but not terribly revealing and a big chunky necklace.
We order and start to chat. I notice he is gazing rather intently at my chest and finally he says something like nice necklace. A little annoying but we continue. He proceeds to tell me about his 2 little girls and ex-wife. Not terribly appealing convo but I guess, it's better to have it out there. He then busts out with he's had a vasectomy. Mind you, he is 35 years old. My jaw drops and I stutter excuse me, what? He repeats that after having his 2nd child, he and his former wife decided it was time to tie the tubes. I think TMI for the first date; WHY oh WHY are you telling me this; Are you trying to let me know if we do it, I'm safe??? Lots of other things go through my head and we've barely finished our appetizers. Now, I realize I'm with a TMI guy who will still not stop staring at my chest and there's nothing showing! Mr. V and I continue dinner but at this point, I have checked out. I still can't believe that this sort of thing comes up at dinner on a 1st date. Plus, there were no warnings from his emails, our conversations, or his Facebook page.
Finally, we wrap up and he walks me to my car. He tries to lean in for the kiss but I bob and weave and get out with a hug. Thank God! I get home and settle down on the couch and of course, start playing on Facebook. Well, what do you know, Mr. V's comments start to pop up along with comments from his 10 friends. The comments go something like this:
Mr. V: My date showed up in a revealing top so it was quite a nice view during dinner.
Friend 1: Women are always shoving their shit out their for everyone to see.
Friend 2: A girl knows when she's got her shit on parade. She must be a slut.
Friend 3: Was the date good otherwise?
Friend 4: Did you get any since she was obviously ready and willing to put out?
And on and on.
I would suggest not participating in such actions as it can back fire. Of course, the first thing I did in response was start posting on how he brought up that he had a vasectomy on a 1st date to which my friends responded WHAT!?!?!?! After a round of comments from them, I promptly de-friended him and moved on. He continued to email me for a couple of weeks. Needless to say, I did not respond and blocked him on Match. Fast forward a year, he sends me a random email AGAIN asking if we can go out. I receive this email around the same time as Mr. I Hate the South asks me to connect on Linked In. What's up with these guy in general but also what's up with a year after follow up? And why would Mr. V think I was want to date him after he and his friends talked shit about me on Facebook for not only me but the rest of the world to see as well???
- Over analyzing
- The Action Your Ex is Getting
- Breakups are Public
- Record of Relationship Mistakes
- Jealously
A while back, a guy I met on Match asked me to become friends with him on Facebook prior to our 1st date. I thought it was a little odd but there is the benefit of being able to check out other pictures, see what their friends look like, and see if there are any GLARINGLY obvious reasons why you should not go out into a public place with this person. So, like any savvy online dater, I checked him out. He seemed normal; we had things in common. He also picked out a place I'd been wanting to try. I thought a win-win.
We arrive at the restaurant and are seated. I'm wearing a cream silk short sleeve version of the shirt below. Somewhat sexy, but not terribly revealing and a big chunky necklace.
Finally, we wrap up and he walks me to my car. He tries to lean in for the kiss but I bob and weave and get out with a hug. Thank God! I get home and settle down on the couch and of course, start playing on Facebook. Well, what do you know, Mr. V's comments start to pop up along with comments from his 10 friends. The comments go something like this:
Mr. V: My date showed up in a revealing top so it was quite a nice view during dinner.
Friend 1: Women are always shoving their shit out their for everyone to see.
Friend 2: A girl knows when she's got her shit on parade. She must be a slut.
Friend 3: Was the date good otherwise?
Friend 4: Did you get any since she was obviously ready and willing to put out?
And on and on.
I would suggest not participating in such actions as it can back fire. Of course, the first thing I did in response was start posting on how he brought up that he had a vasectomy on a 1st date to which my friends responded WHAT!?!?!?! After a round of comments from them, I promptly de-friended him and moved on. He continued to email me for a couple of weeks. Needless to say, I did not respond and blocked him on Match. Fast forward a year, he sends me a random email AGAIN asking if we can go out. I receive this email around the same time as Mr. I Hate the South asks me to connect on Linked In. What's up with these guy in general but also what's up with a year after follow up? And why would Mr. V think I was want to date him after he and his friends talked shit about me on Facebook for not only me but the rest of the world to see as well???
Monday, June 21, 2010
How NOT to start a conversation
I find it truly baffling how some men approach women in general but some take it to another level online. I would beg to say that insulting a woman as your first approach is not going to get you very far. I'm so fortunate as I was contacted by one of these types not so long ago. Email chain goes like this:
FROM: Hal90***
wow!!!!
"A litle bit of this.....bit of that." That's really a gem. That was beautiful! who said that, confuscious? I mean, honestly!
TO: HAL90***
re: wow!!!
Definitely a Leeism, not a Confucianism..what can I say I have a way with words?
FROM:HAL90***
re: wow!!!
Tell me something, do you ever have this little voice in your head that says this might be a bad idea? Let me put it to you this way..your dating headline,"a litttle bit of this....that." is a bit pathetic. Although it does have a certain kindergarten charm.
FROM:HAL90***
re: wow!!!
It's called sense of humor? Tell me something, ok? In what universe do you spent most of your time?Trying to have a conversation with you..it's like talking to a dinning-room table. I've no desire doing that. I don't have a lot of hope for you...but I wish you good luck
I will admit my headline of "a little of this and a little of that" is not stellar but I like it and it describes me. Plus, have you ever really seen a dating headline that is reminiscent of Shakespeare or Faulkner? I haven't and this guy's headline talked about Mai Tais. In 3 emails, he managed to call me pathetic, say I have kindergarten charm, "having a conversation with me is like talking to a dinning room table", and he doesn't have a lot of hope for me. If he, apparently, found me so without merit or charm, why did he contact me first? Is this really his definition of a conversation? Insult and then hope the other individual really wants to chat more with you. I think not.
FROM: Hal90***
wow!!!!
"A litle bit of this.....bit of that." That's really a gem. That was beautiful! who said that, confuscious? I mean, honestly!
TO: HAL90***
re: wow!!!
Definitely a Leeism, not a Confucianism..what can I say I have a way with words?
FROM:HAL90***
re: wow!!!
Tell me something, do you ever have this little voice in your head that says this might be a bad idea? Let me put it to you this way..your dating headline,"a litttle bit of this....that." is a bit pathetic. Although it does have a certain kindergarten charm.
FROM:HAL90***
re: wow!!!
It's called sense of humor? Tell me something, ok? In what universe do you spent most of your time?Trying to have a conversation with you..it's like talking to a dinning-room table. I've no desire doing that. I don't have a lot of hope for you...but I wish you good luck
I will admit my headline of "a little of this and a little of that" is not stellar but I like it and it describes me. Plus, have you ever really seen a dating headline that is reminiscent of Shakespeare or Faulkner? I haven't and this guy's headline talked about Mai Tais. In 3 emails, he managed to call me pathetic, say I have kindergarten charm, "having a conversation with me is like talking to a dinning room table", and he doesn't have a lot of hope for me. If he, apparently, found me so without merit or charm, why did he contact me first? Is this really his definition of a conversation? Insult and then hope the other individual really wants to chat more with you. I think not.
Why girls shouldn't like sports or Why don't you go back to where you came from?
A while back I went on this date and prior to the actual date, I really thought this particular date was going to go exceedingly well. We both had our MBAs; we both had lived in China. Not to mention, from the emails and phone calls, it seemed we were on the same page: looking for similar things, wanted the same things out of life, enjoyed traveling, being active, etc.
We scheduled our date for a Friday night at 8:30pm. It was during the the 2009 NCAA Championship and Carolina was playing LSU. I thought: Perfect, I can watch the game, then I can go on the date and not be distracted. Around 7:15pm, the game was tied and looked like it might go into overtime. I immediately texted the guy and said, "Might be 5 minutes late. UNC and LSU are tied and the game might go into overtime." As soon as I hit send, the phone rings. It's him--clearly annoyed, asking if we should re-schedule, and ranting about how watching sports is stupid--he only plays sports, doesn't watch. This should have been a signal to CANCEL and run for the hills. I say, "No, no, just wanted to let you know. We're still on and I should be there at 830. Just wanted to give you a heads up."
Game ends; Carolina wins (YAY!). I show up 5 minutes early and text him to tell him I'm waiting at the bar. I get a text back saying he hasn't even left his house yet....WHAT! He calls the restaurant and asks the maitre d' to send over a fancy cocktail on his behalf and tell me he's sorry for being late. It was a nice gesture, but really why haven't you left the house at 830pm?? He arrives at 8:50. That's right--20 minutes late. We order drinks and start chatting.
He goes on again about how he doesn't understand people that watch sports. What's the point of watching and not playing? Well, I'm a die hard UNC fan and watch almost every game. This sort of logic just doesn't make sense to me but whatever. College basketball is a big deal in North Carolina just like football is huge in Texas. Southerners just have a things for watching sports, I guess. I mention this fact and this takes the conversation on a turn for the worst. A little background: he's from upstate New York, lived in NYC, went to Columbia, and moved here for work. I'm originally from NC, lived in DC for 8 years, and moved back to NC in 2006.
Bringing up Southern heritage or likes and dislikes, boy, did it get him started on a rampage. He starts with all Southerners are back stabbing assholes and yes, he did say all (aren't I one and didn't YOU ask ME on a date). His reasoning is that we have this fabulous saying "bless your heart". Now, I will admit sometimes "bless your heart" is followed by something not so kind and Southerners tend to not be so direct. We do, however, say hello to you walking down the street (I got strange looks for this in DC) and if anything goes wrong (someone dying, etc), we will fill your house full of food. You get the good and bad...just like with Yankees. He continues to lambaste North Carolina, the South, and me. He hates it here, it's too slow, people are too fake, people are ignorant, and on and on and on. I'm offended but decide to be the proper Southern belle I was raised and don't knock him out.
Then, it is time to order dinner. Obviously, it's March Madness and therefore Lent season. I give up meat and dairy for Lent (fasting). It's a little extreme but I like to do it (like might be a little strong but...). We're discussing what to order and I mention this. He then starts to attack my religious beliefs. First, he asks if I am really religious. I say no, but I feel a sense of accomplishment after 40 days of fasting and I sure think about God every time I want to eat. Apparently, this answer isn't good enough. Why would I waste my time fasting if I don't attend church regularly? God, doesn't really care if you fast or not. Lent isn't so terribly important and really, you just shouldn't do this. By this time, I am extremely offended. I am not Baptist and I am not a snake handler. In fact, I don't particularly care for organized religion in general. However, I do make a personal choice during Lent and I think it brings me closer to the man upstairs.
Dinner comes; we eat. As soon as we finish, he asks for the check and pays. It is now 9:40pm. He says thanks, shakes my hand, and walks out of the restaurant. Yep, that's right. One of the shortest dates ever (50 minutes) and the entirety of which was spent telling me that my heritage and where we both live is wrong/backwards/backstabbing and I wasn't religious enough in the proper way or manner and my choices were stupid.
If you hate the South and North Carolina so much, then GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM! We didn't ask you to move here. In fact, your kind is taking away or diluting many of the things that we love about the South. This is a little harsh and really only meant for him. I have many friends that aren't Southern and are extremely lovely. His tirade, however, literally almost made me forget all of my manners and start the "War of Northern Aggression" all over again.
P.S. A year later, he requests to be my contact on Linked In stating we are friends. Did I miss something? If I'm a back-stabbing, ignorant, "bless your heart" saying Southerner, why do you want to connect?
We scheduled our date for a Friday night at 8:30pm. It was during the the 2009 NCAA Championship and Carolina was playing LSU. I thought: Perfect, I can watch the game, then I can go on the date and not be distracted. Around 7:15pm, the game was tied and looked like it might go into overtime. I immediately texted the guy and said, "Might be 5 minutes late. UNC and LSU are tied and the game might go into overtime." As soon as I hit send, the phone rings. It's him--clearly annoyed, asking if we should re-schedule, and ranting about how watching sports is stupid--he only plays sports, doesn't watch. This should have been a signal to CANCEL and run for the hills. I say, "No, no, just wanted to let you know. We're still on and I should be there at 830. Just wanted to give you a heads up."
Game ends; Carolina wins (YAY!). I show up 5 minutes early and text him to tell him I'm waiting at the bar. I get a text back saying he hasn't even left his house yet....WHAT! He calls the restaurant and asks the maitre d' to send over a fancy cocktail on his behalf and tell me he's sorry for being late. It was a nice gesture, but really why haven't you left the house at 830pm?? He arrives at 8:50. That's right--20 minutes late. We order drinks and start chatting.
He goes on again about how he doesn't understand people that watch sports. What's the point of watching and not playing? Well, I'm a die hard UNC fan and watch almost every game. This sort of logic just doesn't make sense to me but whatever. College basketball is a big deal in North Carolina just like football is huge in Texas. Southerners just have a things for watching sports, I guess. I mention this fact and this takes the conversation on a turn for the worst. A little background: he's from upstate New York, lived in NYC, went to Columbia, and moved here for work. I'm originally from NC, lived in DC for 8 years, and moved back to NC in 2006.
Bringing up Southern heritage or likes and dislikes, boy, did it get him started on a rampage. He starts with all Southerners are back stabbing assholes and yes, he did say all (aren't I one and didn't YOU ask ME on a date). His reasoning is that we have this fabulous saying "bless your heart". Now, I will admit sometimes "bless your heart" is followed by something not so kind and Southerners tend to not be so direct. We do, however, say hello to you walking down the street (I got strange looks for this in DC) and if anything goes wrong (someone dying, etc), we will fill your house full of food. You get the good and bad...just like with Yankees. He continues to lambaste North Carolina, the South, and me. He hates it here, it's too slow, people are too fake, people are ignorant, and on and on and on. I'm offended but decide to be the proper Southern belle I was raised and don't knock him out.
Then, it is time to order dinner. Obviously, it's March Madness and therefore Lent season. I give up meat and dairy for Lent (fasting). It's a little extreme but I like to do it (like might be a little strong but...). We're discussing what to order and I mention this. He then starts to attack my religious beliefs. First, he asks if I am really religious. I say no, but I feel a sense of accomplishment after 40 days of fasting and I sure think about God every time I want to eat. Apparently, this answer isn't good enough. Why would I waste my time fasting if I don't attend church regularly? God, doesn't really care if you fast or not. Lent isn't so terribly important and really, you just shouldn't do this. By this time, I am extremely offended. I am not Baptist and I am not a snake handler. In fact, I don't particularly care for organized religion in general. However, I do make a personal choice during Lent and I think it brings me closer to the man upstairs.
Dinner comes; we eat. As soon as we finish, he asks for the check and pays. It is now 9:40pm. He says thanks, shakes my hand, and walks out of the restaurant. Yep, that's right. One of the shortest dates ever (50 minutes) and the entirety of which was spent telling me that my heritage and where we both live is wrong/backwards/backstabbing and I wasn't religious enough in the proper way or manner and my choices were stupid.
If you hate the South and North Carolina so much, then GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM! We didn't ask you to move here. In fact, your kind is taking away or diluting many of the things that we love about the South. This is a little harsh and really only meant for him. I have many friends that aren't Southern and are extremely lovely. His tirade, however, literally almost made me forget all of my manners and start the "War of Northern Aggression" all over again.
P.S. A year later, he requests to be my contact on Linked In stating we are friends. Did I miss something? If I'm a back-stabbing, ignorant, "bless your heart" saying Southerner, why do you want to connect?
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