Forwarded conversation
From: Mr. Big
From: Mr. Big
Subject: I got your note....
-----------------------
I am somewhat limited to what I can say here because of where I am but I
didn't want to wait much longer.
My lack of response is because I have two very important and very busy
jobs - two jobs which I hate tremendously. I work about 20 hours a day.
I sometimes don't have time to use the bathroom. In the next few weeks
I will be in Philadelphia, Salt lake City, Columbia, SC, and Baltimore.
And, being on travel orders just makes me even more behind in my work.
Another reason is: I too have been thinking about us. I'm not sure what
to do. Bottom Line - The religion piece is very important to me. That
is a show stopper.
I do love your family but that is not my sole motivation.
I will not taunt you or make empty promises again. I know it is not
fair to you. Its just me being stupid and unrealistic.
The war has changed me a great deal. I made a huge effort to not let
that show. I even tried to joke about it. I can't tell you how
disgusted I am with the Army, the toxic leadership of generals in both
my jobs and how my life is overall. I can't tell you the thoughts that
have crossed my mind about my life since I came back from the war. I
can't remember when I've had a sound night's sleep.
It was not just the senseless violence, the incredible stress and the
overwhelming responsibility; it was (again) the terrible management and
leadership I had to endure. And, then, many of my subordinates would
betray me with their disloyalty. I spent more time answering complaints
from my Soldiers when I was only enforcing discipline and standards -
AND making them do their duty....making them....it was all very
sickening.
And, since I've been back here at the pentagon all I've seen is
misconduct and incompetence and I'm the one who gets nailed all the
time....more work, less time off and held accountable for things totally
out of my lane. And more stupid generals and senior officials who won't
listen. The other day I had a one star general talk to me like I was a
piece of crap. I thought, if we were in a bar, and he talked to me like
that; I would've been convicted of manslaughter.
So, I have to make some decisions. Unfortunately, those decisions have
to be weighed with regard to finances. But, I want out. I'm fed up.
Yet, I can't do anything else. I hate my life.
One thing I'm going to stop is cotillion. So, you won't have to worry
about me and the "fairly tale" anymore.
I don't want to give up my house so my job hunt will be around here at
first. The idea of running a hunting business in NC is a stupid pipe
dream.
I think you are better off without me. I'm 50 and I have very little
going for me. I'll probably screw up any move I make so I'll have even
less going for me.
Thanks for reaching out.
I am somewhat limited to what I can say here because of where I am but I
didn't want to wait much longer.
My lack of response is because I have two very important and very busy
jobs - two jobs which I hate tremendously. I work about 20 hours a day.
I sometimes don't have time to use the bathroom. In the next few weeks
I will be in Philadelphia, Salt lake City, Columbia, SC, and Baltimore.
And, being on travel orders just makes me even more behind in my work.
Another reason is: I too have been thinking about us. I'm not sure what
to do. Bottom Line - The religion piece is very important to me. That
is a show stopper.
I do love your family but that is not my sole motivation.
I will not taunt you or make empty promises again. I know it is not
fair to you. Its just me being stupid and unrealistic.
The war has changed me a great deal. I made a huge effort to not let
that show. I even tried to joke about it. I can't tell you how
disgusted I am with the Army, the toxic leadership of generals in both
my jobs and how my life is overall. I can't tell you the thoughts that
have crossed my mind about my life since I came back from the war. I
can't remember when I've had a sound night's sleep.
It was not just the senseless violence, the incredible stress and the
overwhelming responsibility; it was (again) the terrible management and
leadership I had to endure. And, then, many of my subordinates would
betray me with their disloyalty. I spent more time answering complaints
from my Soldiers when I was only enforcing discipline and standards -
AND making them do their duty....making them....it was all very
sickening.
And, since I've been back here at the pentagon all I've seen is
misconduct and incompetence and I'm the one who gets nailed all the
time....more work, less time off and held accountable for things totally
out of my lane. And more stupid generals and senior officials who won't
listen. The other day I had a one star general talk to me like I was a
piece of crap. I thought, if we were in a bar, and he talked to me like
that; I would've been convicted of manslaughter.
So, I have to make some decisions. Unfortunately, those decisions have
to be weighed with regard to finances. But, I want out. I'm fed up.
Yet, I can't do anything else. I hate my life.
One thing I'm going to stop is cotillion. So, you won't have to worry
about me and the "fairly tale" anymore.
I don't want to give up my house so my job hunt will be around here at
first. The idea of running a hunting business in NC is a stupid pipe
dream.
I think you are better off without me. I'm 50 and I have very little
going for me. I'll probably screw up any move I make so I'll have even
less going for me.
Thanks for reaching out.
Mr. Big
My Response
From: SoCalledDating
I know you work tremendously hard and travel a lot. I would like to think I'm not that needy but getting a phone call or or at least an answer might be asking too much. I'm actually very proud of you for this and know this makes you an excellent leader.
As for your bottom line, I am willing to convert to Catholicism given that it is very important to you. I think fundamentally we have the same beliefs. The Catholic church is a bit unfamiliar to me--I am willing to admit but open to exploring it. You do, however, have to give me the option to do so.
I don't think you are being stupid and unrealistic...maybe just not willing to give me a chance...actually us a chance...I know you have changed considerably since the war. I can't imagine what you've gone through nor will I pretend to. All I can offer is that I am happy to listen and willing to support you based on what you deem fit. Given that you are rather private, I still extend that I am always available to listen no matter what time of day.
Whether or not you choose to come to Cotillion or not, you will always have a place at my family's table for Thanksgiving. I hope my note did not give you the impression that I would create any discomfort in you attending. I hope you know that I am not and will never be that sort of person unless you decide to kill my mother, Studie, or anyone I care about.
I think you have limited yourself in terms of your dreams. Life is after all what we make it. Some would say I was terribly wrong in hoping/expecting I would get my dream job in meshing China and marketing, yet I did.
You underestimate yourself and do have a tremendous amount to give. I am sorry that you hate your life so much. I, naively perhaps, hoped I could give you a reason to not do so.
I think that we offer a lot to one another. We both give each other tremendous laughter sometimes in spite of the other and that is the spice of life. Some how in the midst of it all, I believe we deeply care for each other's happiness. I will do what I can to help you regain your happiness even if lacking now. Beyond that, we do share similar interests...we can both be as fancy as they come and as down home as they can get.
I will be in town the weekend of the 22nd visiting Ellen. I know you will likely be out of town, but I did want to let you know and if you're in town, I'd love to see you.
Love,
So-Called Dating
Forwarded conversation
From: Mr. Big
From: Mr. Big
Subject: I got your note....
-----------------------
I think you should just forget about me.
Mr. Big
My Response
From: SoCalledDating
Guess that's your way of saying your're not interested. Ok, I'll leave you alone
Forwarded conversation
Subject: I got your note....
Subject: I got your note....
-----------------------
From: Mr. Big
You don't understand. Its not that I'm not interested. My life is a
piece of crap. I think you're better off.
You don't understand. Its not that I'm not interested. My life is a
piece of crap. I think you're better off.
My Response
From: SoCalledDating
Let me be the judge of what I'm better with or without. Again, I'll be
in town this weekend if you'd like to see me.
in town this weekend if you'd like to see me.
And as the finale, I got an "Out of Office Auto-response" saying he'd be on duty until the Monday after I got back from my trip to DC . I know this is tedious to read, but I've been back and forth and thought you'd like to go too...
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