Pen Pal Purgatory

You know when you were little and got a pen pal.  It was fun.  I actually had several friends that I met on vacation with my parents in the Bahamas and we became GREAT friends all through the written word.  I am also still friends with one such childhood friend through Facebook.  Got to love Facebook for that reason alone.


In fact, I still truly enjoy writing hand written letters.  I think it is the most personal form of communication not involving touching.  I used to write letters to several friends and family members during MBA school as a way to procrastinate and it was wonderful getting them in return.  Clearly, in today's fast paced society, letters have been shoved by the wayside and email, twitter, facebook, IMing, and (a while back) myspace have replaced them.  I enjoy the new alternative forms of communication and use them regularly.  However, as I've mentioned previously, Facebook is not your dating friend.


I also believe that while dating sites can enable you to meet interesting people and perhaps a true love, they can also create a purgatory type situation.  Obviously, no one wants to go out with every person that happens to look at their profile including me, definitely me--cause some are NASTY.  Emailing one another enables you to in a way "get to know one another".  This usually leads to IMing or chatting on the phone.  Eventually, this should lead to a live, meet in person date.


Sometimes, however, this doesn't happen.  I've had several instances of the guy continuously emailing, getting my number, suggesting plans, but really, it continues into email and text purgatory.  Long emails, long texts or short email/texts with hey what's up?  Do some people join dating sites just to chat online and never meet in person?  Ick.

The Sneak Attacker

What happens when you date a virgin?  Although I'm not a virgin, I try not to discriminate against those that choose to remain a virgin until they get married.  Granted, I have run into very, very few of these type men.  Ok, let's be honest-I've only known one.  


At an event my family and I attend every year, I started to hear rumors that a certain someone was interested in me.  Of course, as a girl, I got pretty excited.  It's always flattering to hear that someone "likes" you.  It goes back to the check yes or no notes from elementary school.  My friends, however, warn me that he is a virgin.  I think, well maybe that will take some of the edge off the relationship.  Plus, there are other ways to play.  We start hanging out that week, hook up, and get along really well.  We don't live in the same city but in the same state and we exchange numbers.  


A couple of days after I get home, he calls.  Yippee!  We continue with nightly chats and then plan a weekend for me to come and visit.  I go and we have a great time.  In fact, he's so thoughtful, he gets tickets to a Christmas play.  Fast forward a couple of weeks and he comes and visits in my hometown and we go camping.  Again, a GREAT time!  Then, I go back to visit him.  Stay with me--there is a punch line.  During all these visits, we've hooked up but no sex which I'm fine with believe or not.  I've gotten my rocks off and so has he.  I think, well maybe this isn't so bad.  


It's Sunday afternoon of the visit and we're making out.  Pants come off and while, of course, I'm secretly wishing let's end this celibacy thing, I keep playing along.  Then I get the surprise of a life time especially at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.  He is trying to poke me in the ass.  WHAT!  I jump back 5 feet and start to ramble and get word womit, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.  What do you think you're doing? Maybe if it was 3am and I was wasted that could happen but not sober at 3pm.  And wait, wait, wait, I thought you were a virgin."  He replies he is a virgin.  I say, but you just tried to have anal sex with me????????  He then states that he is saving himself for his wife and giving his virginity to her on their wedding night as his special gift.  I think you actually think that fucking someone up the butt is saving oneself for marriage.  Huh? What?  


At this point, the mood is obviously ruined so I dress, pack, and get on the road.  I drive home still wondering how one can consider anal sex not real sex.  Plus, I'm pretty sure that most women would consider a man having a bunch of ass sex NOT A VIRGIN.  I'm also feeling slightly traumatized by having my butt almost sneak attacked.  


Our relationship had gone really well until the sneak attack.  Then, the phone calls stopped.  Of course, I ask/tell all of my friends about this curious episode and they agree what man thinks you can fuck an ass and still be a virgin.  It also becomes their most favorite of all of my stories.


Fast forward to the next year at the same annual event that we both attend every year...he tries to kiss my friend.  She says, "Whoa buddy, you hooked up with my best friend."  He states, "Yea, but she moved to fast for me."  WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How in the hell could I have moved too fast when you tried to poke me in the ass?